BREAKING NEWS...DEGU ESCAPES HABITAT

Early reports from the living room suggest that the early-morning habitat escape was made by Bo the degu, a.k.a. "The Runt," or "Troublemaker." As Chris tried to lure him into a sock for playtime, he made a sudden dash out of the lower habitat door A high-speed chase around the living room ensued, and Bo was finally captured after all exits from behind the entertainment center were blocked off. He was taken into custody and placed in the small carrier for a two-minute time out after being informally charged with Felony Habitat Escape and Evading and Resisting Being Caught, both misdemeanors. After one minute of futile attempts at escape, Bo spent a pensive or at least resigned minute sitting on an upside-down food dish looking worried. He was then released to the habitat where he resides with relations Luke and Daisy and is currently on habitat arrest. After crying to his habitat mates, "I'm just a good old degu. I never meant no harm," he appeared exhausted. His quiet, well-behaved habitat mate Daisy was reportedly heard to say, "Y'all are really blowing this namesake thing. The Dukes ALWAYS got away." Rumors around the apartment say that Luke is considering a more carefully planned escape to the computer room, where he and Bo allegedly plan to look for a Dodge Charger on the internet, while Daisy creates a diversion by charming Chris and obtaining his credit card to pay for the vehicle. When asked about the rumors, Chris said only, "I can neither confirm nor deny these rumors." All three degus will be closely supervised by dani and Chris for the next couple of days. When asked about the motive behind today's escape, dani told the press, "Well, they did have a sink bath today, so Bo was probably pissed off. Even two shredded wheat treats in one day don't make up for that sort of thing."